Meow!

Oh look, another "Mommy is mean" post

2010-01-03T16:43:49Z

Mommy is... well, to put it bluntly, a bitch.

She's so angry all the time! The stupidest thing will set her off. She yells at us more now. It's like, before, we could do whatever and get away with it because we're cute. But now she doesn't seem to notice our cuteness! What is wrong with her?

I have to admit, though, it's nice to see her yelling at the outdoor creatures (the ones that invade our house). They deserve it. We are far superior to them and maybe Mommy is just now realizing it.

But jeez - I get annoyed at her too sometimes, ya know? And I don't yell at her! We're abused, I tell you. ABUSED.

If she's not paying attention some time and I get outside, I think I'll just run away. That'll teach her! Anakin did that the other night... I think he wanted her to chase him around like she usually does but she just got pissed off and told him to stay out in the cold all night for all she cared. Now, if Mommy had said that to me, I would have taught her a lesson by running away and making her sorry she said mean things to me. But my doofus brother came back to the door wanting in before bedtime. *facepaw* No guts.

I'm the bravest one around here. Did I ever mention that I'm the only one not afraid of that really loud machine that runs over the carpets? The others all flee as soon as they hear it, but I just stay where I'm at and watch it. Even when it comes right up close to me. Maybe they never noticed that it STAYS on the carpet? So, DUH, if you're on the couch you're safe?

I live with a bunch of idiots.

Happy New Year.

~ Snickers

Neener neener!

2009-11-24T00:43:02Z

Hey, Mommy ~

I TOLD YOU SO!

Whatever they did to me in the gas chamber? It was a total waste of my time. There is NOTHING WRONG with me. DUH. Like I said all along!

Running the kingdom does get stressful at times, and it keeps me busy ~~except for the 18 hours a day that I sleep~~. I just can't lay around getting fat like Mommy does, ya know? So anyone wanting to know my weight loss secret: all you have to do is become emperor of your own kingdom.

~ Anakin

I'm a lean mean fightin' machine

2009-11-21T17:08:21Z

Mommy dragged me to the torturers today. Never mind that it hasn't even been a year since I was last there. Never mind that I'm still acting normal, eating and drinking normally, using the potty normally. She thinks I'm getting too skinny, and she wants to know why.

You know what I think it is? I think she's jealous because she can't lose weight, and I lose it without even trying. I'm 13.25 pounds now.

I was horrible, as always, to everyone I came in contact with, starting with Mommy when she made me go in that box thing. I made her bleed! I'm proud of the bright orange CAUTION sticker that adorns my file. Anyway, I was so nasty to the torturers, they had to put me in a gas chamber. Mommy won't tell me what they did to me in there; I don't remember it. Doesn't this strike you as a bit cruel and unusual, though? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, WHY WAS I GASSED.

And then! On the way home, Mommy decides that since I'm being quiet, I won't mind if she takes a little detour and uses her "free breakfast" coupon at Chick-Fil-A. I let out a yowl as soon as she got to the drive-thru, just to let her know I WANT OUT OF THIS THING NOW.

On Monday we'll find out what's wrong. I don't know why we have to wait 'til then to find out I'm perfectly fine. Mommy's silly. And MEAN.

Hmph.

~ Anakin

<3

2009-10-24T17:06:14Z

Cassie's really purrrrrty.

Mommy needs to post pictures of her. Then you'll see.

~ Gryffin

My kingdom is expanding.

2009-09-20T16:20:25Z

It would seem that I now have 5 minions. The newest one is another Outdoor Creature, but she acts like one of US. She figured out how to get up on top of the kitchen cabinets, how to use the little door to go out to the Arizona room... Smart, very smart. I may have to put those smarts to good use. I'm pleased to say she does have a healthy fear of me.

Gryffin likes playing with her. If he develops a little crush, I will tease him mercilessly!

I know I shouldn't whine about my kingdom growing but it's exhausting keeping everyone in line, you know? Mommy keeps saying no more but then more always show up. Good thing most of those Outdoor Creatures don't want to come in here. ~~I'm afraid of the big fluffy orange one. Ssshh, don't tell anyone.~~

Why does the newcomer get to jump up on counters and I don't? Mommy just says "no no no" in a stupid high voice and goes and picks her up. But if I go up there? I get yelled at! It's so unfair!

~ Anakin

Happy birthday to me!

2009-08-16T15:06:12Z

Yesterday was my birthday. And you know what? That didn't even rate as a "random tidbit" in Mommy's LJ entry yesterday! She says staying home all day was her present to me. Hmph. Like I CARE if she's here or not? ~~Okay so I do.~~

I'm 4 now. I still look good.

Mommy got a new catalog with all kinds of neat things in it for kitties, and she said she WANTED to get me birthday presents from it but... something about MONEY. What she needs this MONEY stuff for, I don't know. Everything she needs comes from the garage! I've been trying to figure out how that works. A little heat doesn't deter me -- I still wanna go out there and investigate that thing she calls a car ~~and I whine like a baby until she opens the door for me~~.

Someday I'll figure it out.

~ Gryffin

Patience.

2009-07-18T14:23:26Z

This morning, Mommy got up to feed us, and went to open the front door to check for the outdoor creatures (they're not so bad, I've decided). Neither of them were there, but she squealed and started like...hopping. Something ran inside and over her feet when she opened the door!

When she saw it wasn't some "disgusting bug" (her sentiments, not mine! I like bugs) but a "cute little baby lizard" she calmed down. But I was already in Protector Mode, determined to remove the threat! I caught the thing pretty easily. So easily that I had to let it go a couple times so I could catch it again. Make it more interesting, you know? Only... well, the little guy ended up running under the stove. I can't even fit my paw under there!

Mommy distracted me by feeding us breakfast, but right after that I went back on my stakeout in front of the stove. He HAS to come out some time, right? I'll be ready!

~ Gryffin

Go away, mean mommy!

2009-07-03T14:39:12Z

Mommy's leaving us for the weekend. Hopefully Uncle Brian remembers to feed us.

You know what Mommy did yesterday? She LOCKED ME IN A BATHROOM CABINET FOREEEEVVVVVERRRRR. I don't know how long it was but it was right after we ate breakfast, and then she went wherever she goes during the daytime... and came back and STILL didn't let me out. What did I do to deserve such punishment?

I made as big of a mess as I could to show my displeasure. Though I did not "do my business" in there -- if I was gonna be hanging out in there for possibly days, I wanted it to be clean.

She finally came over and acted like she just then heard me scratching at the door trying to get out. And then she was all mushy and dopey, hugging me and begging for forgiveness. She claims it was an accident, that she thought my dorky brother was the only cat who had gone in there so she closed the door when he left. (They have these things on them that make them "baby proof" so I couldn't just push the doors open!) I don't know, she can be pretty mean sometimes... brushing us, even when we whine that it hurts when she gets to a knot... taking us to the torture chamber... picking us up and cuddling us against our will!

I might forgive her when she comes back. I'll have to mull that over. I'm pretty traumatized still. Never mind the fact that I just tried to go in there again when she had the door open this morning.

~ Snickers

The King Observes His Kingdom

2009-05-10T17:43:59Z

Mommy was impressed enough with my mad climbing skillz that she took pictures instead of yelling at me. Hooray!

The first two are kinda dark -- Mommy's not too good at taking pictures.

Don't Snickers and Gryffin look jealous of me? After I'd had enough of being up there, I jumped down and went back inside. Gryffin craned his head and ran from side to side, trying to figure out how I'd jumped up there. Ha! He thought I jumped! He even made a running start at one point but stopped short of making the leap from the lower part to the high one. CLEARLY, I RULE.

Happy Mommy's Day...whatever that means. Mommy says we should have bought her gifts today. Ha! Why the hell should we do that? Does she ever buy US stuff? No! Besides, it's not fair that there's a "Mommy's Day" but there's no "Anakin's Day."

EVERY day should be Ani Day.

~ Anakin

We are good kitties!

2009-04-25T18:32:56Z

So, there was this person here last night. A little person. I mean tiny. I could stand on my hind legs and be taller than it was. Err, as she was -- Mommy says it's not nice to refer to people as "it"s. Why do I have to be nice?

She's three years old, just like me!

It was kinda scary. She kept running around trying to give us stuff. If "running" is even the right word -- she's not very fast! I run way faster. And now, I'm all for giving us stuff, don't get me wrong! But when it's our own stuff? Meh. Seen it!

But - but!!! - Mommy gave her treats to give to us, and Little Person was VERY generous with those. Snickers and Anakin got more than I did, though, because I was still scared. I'm...not sure why it was so scary, ya know? It's not like I couldn't kick her ass in a fight prob'ly. ~~Shut UP, Anakin.~~ It's just so WEIRD, seeing someone pretty much our size who is not one of us.

Oh, and thanks to Mommy's big mouth, Little Person actually scolded me for the thing I used to do with the phone -- jeez, can't Mommy let that go??? It was ages ago! Grudge much?

Anyway, scary or not, Little Person was very interesting. All three of us followed her around everywhere. She kept creating new and interesting places for us to explore!

She didn't try to brush me, thankfully, but she did attempt to brush the meanie-pants Anakin. He was more tolerant of her brushing than of Mommy's, for some reason!

It's nice out today, I'm gonna go nap in the Arizona room. Toodles!

~ Gryffin

Pics'n'stuff

2009-03-22T20:01:13Z

Mommy wondered who I would attach myself to since Pants doesn't live here anymore.

I'm telling you, it's slim pickin's now. I usually just hang out by myself, or close to Mommy. But I have my snuggly moments:

Mommy made Gryffin go up there for the picture; he wouldn't stay.

Wanna hear something freaky? Mommy was talking to Pants' ghost this morning. I think she's losing it. If anyone would have a spiritual connection to her, it would be me, her best friend of the same species! And I didn't hear a thing. Mommy swears she heard her meowing. And that there was a kitty trying to come in from the garage... it wasn't any of us because we were all in the same room, in plain sight.

It is nice and breezy today, and Mommy has the patio door open (to the screened-in room), so maybe the wind is playing tricks. I can't wait until she closes that door and doofball Gryffin doesn't notice, and goes crashing into the glass! He's done it before, and it's sooooo funny.

~ Snickers

Pants <3

2009-03-04T01:59:27Z

~ In Loving Memory of ~
Pantera
aka Pants, Pantsy, Pantalonius, Mama Pants

April 7, 1994 (approx.) ~ March 3, 2009

These old photos scanned in quite darkly/blurrily :( but hopefully you can still see how pretty she was. And I lost a chunk of the digital ones when my computer crashed last year.

This one is what breakfast used to look like in my house! Clockwise from the top there's Bailey, Pants, Snickers, and Anakin. Ewwwwww that floor was gross, that's one of the first things I re-did when I moved in to this house.

Yeah, I used this one for Bailey's memorial post too, but it's one of my favorites! They're so cute!

Torture Chamber part 2.

2009-02-08T18:17:28Z

My sis was right -- Mommy took us boys together to be tortured yesterday. It was horrible! Mommy and the other meanies tried to grab me and do awful things to me, so I did what any sane cat would do -- I growled and hissed and scratched and bit. And you know what? It worked! They didn't shove a thermometer in my butt or weigh me, like they did with Gryffin. Ha!

And I heard one of the Torturers say it was a good thing there was an hour in between her appointments, instead of the usual half hour that they allow, cuz she remembers that the past couple years I've been a handful. I'M SO BADASS I HAVE A REPUTATION, YO.

They wouldn't leave me alone for long, though. They tricked me, and then they stabbed me. It took 3 people to restrain me AND I made them drop the first needle and have to go get a new one.

Gryffin -- who weighs exactly the same as last year, 11.56 pounds -- was all laidback and mellow, he just let them do whatever. Torturer thought he was sweet. What a wuss! That's not how to be a REAL CAT. I'm ashamed he's of my species.

To show my extreme displeasure, when they were done with me I took a big ol' stinky dump right in front of everyone. HA!!!

Mommy always feels the need to tell them how sweet I am. ~~That's supposed to be a seeeeeekrit!~~ It's true, I have been a lot nicer to Pants lately... I feel kinda sorry for her since she has to get tortured so much at home. Mommy's going to pick up a new drug for her tomorrow that she only has to have once a day, and it's fish-flavored so I'm gonna want to steal some!

*yawn* It's naptime now...seeya when I wake up...

~ Anakin

GIMME GIMME GIMME

2009-01-31T02:41:29Z

Wheeeeee I am feeling GOOD! My mouth doesn't hurt at all! Maybe that torture place isn't so bad. Everyone's nice to me there. They think I'm sweet -- and quiet, because I only whine when Mommy's around. As soon as she left me this morning I shut up.

Mommy says I'm not supposed to eat or drink much tonight. I heard her and one of the nice Torturer's saying that's probably not a problem since I haven't been eating well anyway. Well I'LL SHOW THEM! All I wanna do is eat and drink.

Especially drink. It's crazy. What did those drugs do to my head? I almost jumped in the toilet, and I never do that! I did lick up some water in the shower, Mommy took me away a couple times but I kept going back so she just decided to let me. Anakin drinks that water all the time so it can't be that bad. He watched me, but was surprisingly cool about me moving in on his territory.

Actually, everyone's been pretty cool. Anakin hissed at me once, but didn't attack. Gryffin is afraid of me, he's staying away. Snickers also seems a little afraid of me... oh well, it's kind of nice not having her hanging all over me for a change.

I'm thirsty again. Jeez! And Mommy keeps shoving ice cubes under my nose, cuz that's what they told her to do. Those are waaaaaay too cold for me, why would I lick those when I can go slurp water out of the shower? I also get to eat table scraps now. I LOVE FRESH MEAT. YUM.

Anyway... I feel good right now, but I guess I'm actually pretty sick. Mommy's gonna keep giving me drugs to help me feel better and I'll probably go see a different torture chamber soon. Ugh. Cross your toes for me, please?

~ Pants

Chillin'...

2009-01-28T03:30:54Z

My BFF Pants is sick. Hopefully it's nothing serious; we'll probably know more tomorrow. I'll edit this post then. It's actually not her teeth, like Mommy thought -- she has an abscess in her cheek. ETA: Bad news. They're 90% sure it's cancer, Pants has to go back on Friday for a biopsy. The vet tossed around big words like squamous cell carcinoma and dysplastic epithelial...something. Scary. The other option was to wait and see how she responds to antibiotics first... but Mommy doesn't want to mess around waiting when the lab techies are THAT sure of the results. Plus Pants is in pain, so the sooner this can get fixed the better. *sigh*

I am perfectly healthy, so forcing me to go to the Torture Chamber was unnecessary... but Pants liked having me there. She was so scared she... uh... had herself a little accident on the way in. Mommy's attempt to clean her up with paper towels was kind of pathetic, so when Pants came to me in my jail cell she brought some ick with her. But I didn't complain. Pants was doing enough crying for the both of us! (poor Pants had to get a bath after that. Yuck)

I was a very good girl, even during that horribly invasive anal temperature taking deal -- ugh, that is the worst. I got my nails done while I was there, too! My claws are all pretty-ful now.

I weigh 10 pounds, 12 ounces. Yup, I get a little fatter every year, just like humans!

Pants weighs 5 pounds, 3 ounces. That's WAY skinny :( but I guess I wouldn't wanna eat either if my mouth hurt! They injected her with fluids -- THAT MADE HER BODY LOOK SO WEIRD. She's so skinny, right? But there's this big ball of smooshiness moving around in it -- Mommy says it looked like she had a water balloon -- whatever that is! --under her skin.

Oh, and Mommy's silly -- she didn't remember that she had Pants' teeth cleaned last year, so she's been feeling guilty for no reason. She thought maybe Pants got sick because she ignored the torturist's recommendation to get some teeth pulled and stuff. Um, hello -- Mommy, we use a "torture" tag on here so that you'll KNOW how often you put us through all this crap!

I'm done for the year. The boys better be going soon or I'm gonna cry "no fair!"

I haven't decided whether I'll go to bed with Mommy tonight. I'm very "meh" towards her right now. I bet SHE never gets tortured but she makes us do it every year.

~ Snickers

Why is it always me?

2009-01-23T19:34:48Z

Seriously, this is getting old.

Let me just say right now that I DID NOT MESS WITH MOMMY'S CAR.

Remember how I said I like hanging out in the garage? That's true. I like the car. I like running around on top of it. ON TOP of it, not INSIDE it. And how can I even get inside it when she has the doors and windows closed, I ask you!

But yesterday morning, Mommy had to go to work early. She goes in early 4 days a month, 2 days each about every 2 weeks. It was Day 2 of her waking up to annoyingly loud beeping instead of that nice Star Wars music she normally plays -- which means it was the day she was most worried about being late to work. She went out to the garage and started freaking out because the inside light was on. I happened to be next to the car at the time, and it's a good thing looks don't kill because she looked murderous! I ran past her back into the house -- I sure as well wanted to stay out of her way, y'know? But she thought I looked guilty.

Now, I don't know what the big deal is about a light being on in a car all night long. She wastes more electricity leaving the hall light on for the Outdoor Creatures when they're inside! Like they won't be able to find the litterboxes in the dark the way we civilized felines do?

Anyway, apparently Mommy was freaked because she thought she might be late to work or something. Because of a LIGHT. And she calls ME the dumb one? But she got to work JUST FINE.

Last night when she was getting ready for bed she went around looking for all us cats like she normally does. She just likes to know where we are before she goes to bed. I was in the garage, laying down comfortably on the front of her car. Mommy didn't look mad this time so I didn't get up. And she had the nerve to tell me not to do anything to the car. Gimme a break! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THAT MORNING EITHER.

In other news... Pants is old. I mean, now she's LOOKING old. She's definitely slowing down. That bully Anakin still picks on her, though. He's so mean!

Peace out, yo!

~ Gryffin

<3

2008-12-27T21:00:19Z

Thank you so much for the present, gizzi1213! We received it today.

Now if that doesn't make Mommy give us more treats, I don't know what will! She says I'm the picky one and I don't like anything. Well, you know what the truth of it is? She usually just lazily tosses treats out on the floor and expects us to scramble for them. Oh sure, she sees that each cat gets some -- except me, because I refuse to take part in that nonsense. If she would just seek me out independently I would happily eat her snacks.

So. Anyway. You hear that, Mommy? I will eat them if you DO IT RIGHT.

And... hey, you know what? The only presents we got were from Santa and Deborah. Nothing from Mommy.

HMPH!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone -- hopefully your humans are kinder to you than ours is to us.

~ Pants

lumycats @ 2008-12-17T21:50:00

2008-12-18T05:01:27Z

Hey we haven't updated this thing in a while. It's Pants's fault! She hasn't posted in ages! Why is it always me that ends up doing it?

So what's new with us... there's a mini Christmas tree in here! It's pretty. I like to sniff at it but I don't steal any ornaments from it. Mommy says last time she put it up a couple years ago I was still too little and I messed with it too much. I don't remember that. We're all mature enough to leave it alone now, I guess?

I am now obsessed with the garage. If Mommy doesn't leave the door (the door between garage and house, not the big loud outside-door door!) ajar so I can go in there, I sit and stare at the door mournfully. Sometimes I whine until she notices and opens it for me. I used to get stuck out there cuz I couldn't figure out how to let myself back in but I'm an expert at it now! One thing that sucks is there used to be this nice pile of socks in the corner for us to pee on. From Uncle Aaron who used to stay here sometimes. If he really wanted those socks, he woulda took them by now, right? So why not let us have a little toilet out there? But no. Mommy threw those away so now it's back to peeing on her tires instead.

I guess not much exciting stuff has been going on, huh. Oh well. You guys all have a happy holiday season, 'k?

~ Gryffin

lumycats @ 2008-10-25T14:03:00

2008-10-25T21:18:05Z

Well, hallelujah, Mommy finally got us a shiny new water fountain. It only took like a month of the old one not working right and then not working at all. I voiced my displeasure to her every day but did she listen? No!

Until now, that is.

Ahhhhh I can drink again. It really is a pain to have to wait for Mommy to turn on a faucet. My minions have no trouble drinking out of the bowl -- that may be good enough for them, but not for me. I have standards. ~~But yes I do lick water off the shower floor. That's different!~~

I made a new friend last weekend. This lady came over to talk to Mommy, and she loves kitties so of course Mommy tried to get us all to come 'round. She told me to "show off the white on my belly," and right at that moment I felt like flopping down in front of them and rolling on my side, which just so happened to show off the white spots on my belly. The lady was delighted, she thought I did it on cue. HA! I don't do anything on cue, I do whatever the hell I want, whenever I want, thank you very much.

Mmmmmm, constant running water is the BEST. I'm gonna go get me some more.

~ Anakin

lumycats @ 2008-09-15T18:07:00

2008-09-16T01:13:23Z

Well, guess what finally showed up.

Remember the missing stamps that I got blamed for?

Today they were sitting right in the middle of the living room floor, out in plain sight. Mommy hadn't thought about them in a while, but just yesterday she told yet ANOTHER person how I stole them and hid them. And then they just magically show up!

There's a ghost in here! And she still thinks it was me?!?! Maybe it was the sort of ghost that has to give stuff back when it's talked about again?

IT WASN'T ME!!!!

~ Gryffin

Reason #umpteen why Mommy is mean.

2008-08-13T00:45:36Z

It's my birthday on Friday. Yay! Cause for celebration, right?

WRONG!

Mommy's going away. She'll only see me for like 2 seconds on my birthday. That's not anywhere near enough time to spoil me rotten and give me extra treats and stuff.

*pout!*

I will, of course, have to act like I don't care. If I act like I CARE, she'll prob'ly think she's right about me being a closet cuddlemuffin. (it's really torture when she tries to cuddle me! I always try to get away as soon as I can!)

Hmmmph.

~Gryffin

All right. grumble

2008-07-20T14:52:58Z

After gizzi1213 confirmed what we had all come to suspect, we had a family meeting. On Mommy's bed, while she slept. She's so oblivious when she sleeps.

We've concluded that Mommy's been lying to us about those filthy "outside" critters who keep invading our home. Clearly her word means nothing. Clearly she's elevated their status.

~~My BFF~~ Pants says this is par for the course, Mommy promised her "no more cats" after me and Anakin came along, yet we now have a doofus named Gryffin living here.

Anakin is not concerned, as the two creatures defer to him as leader and show him the proper respect. I think he's happy to have more minions, honestly. Hmph.

Gryffin doesn't know what to think. Of course he doesn't.

As for me... as long as Uncle Brian keeps coming around, I can make Mommy feel like crap by acting especially sweet and cuddly for him and not her. She says "awwww it's so cute how she loves you!" like she's not jealous, but I think she's toooootally jealous under that. Ha! She should be! If she can keep getting more cats, we can get more humans! Besides, Uncle Brian is awesome - he never picks me up, or squishes me, or kisses my head. He just pets me. And he defends my honor to Grandpa when he says I'm the bad one and Anakin's the good one!

Anyway. We didn't wake her up, but one of the critters did. Uncle Brian had let one of them out when he was here, but not the other - not the whiny one. So she stumbled out of bed to go let him out, and it was like 0500 so we thought maybe she'd feed us while she's up, we followed her... but noooooooo she went back to bed!

About the only thing she's done right lately is she gave me a new bed. This was accidental on her part, but she hasn't yet thrown it away and she won't as long as I keep using it. It's a big cardboard box with plastic around the top. See how perfect? I love boxes, and I love to chew on plastic, and here I can do both at the same time!

Oooooo gotta go, breakfast time! Finally!

~ Snickers

To my adoring fans

2008-06-30T03:39:04Z

Long time no update, I know. But I've been busy, ya know? The empire doesn't run itself!

So what's new with us. Let's see.

-Pants: she's always in Mommy's lap these days. Even on her BARE LEGS - she never used to do that, she didn't like laying on skin, had to be cloth. But now she takes what she can get. That's what happens when you get old, you get clingy.

-Snickers: My sister is a brat. She really has Uncle Brian fooled, thinking she's sweet and innocent and never in trouble. She messes things up and *I* get blamed for it. Uncool!

-Gryffin: What a dope. He almost got shut in the garage again. He goes out there and forgets how to let himself back in, and then eventually Mommy closes the door... if we're lucky, she counts us before she goes to bed to make sure we're all inside. ~~Don't ask why we like to go in the garage when it's like 130 degrees in there. We don't know, we just do!~~

-Me: I haven't been running out front as much lately. I did go out back Friday night when Mommy was watering - THAT was fun. I rolled around in the dirt and she said I looked like a Jawa, whatever THAT is. I was brown everywhere except for my face. She tried to wash me off in the sprinkler but I wanted none of that - I like water, but on MY terms, not hers! So I just licked the dirt off and of course, left some on the floor for Mommy to clean up later. And just now I pulled out all this stuff from her bureau and knocked it on the floor so I could fit in there, then decided I didn't feel like being in there anyway and left after five seconds. Mommy told me to put the stuff back. HA! That's SO beneath me!

I really am a gorgeous cat. The best-looking one in this house by far. I noticed Mommy cooing at Gryffin the other day, she said "Who's the prettiest orange cat in the whole house?" And the dummy FELL for that. DUH, he's the ONLY orange cat here! HA!

Those "outdoor cats" are in here a lot now. One of them is still trying to be my friend, the other one whines whenever I get too close to him -- he totally fears me. AS WELL HE SHOULD.

Off to go flog an underling now...

~ Anakin

Monster

2008-06-07T18:42:22Z

Mommy's mean. She laughed at me because I was sleeping waaaaaay up high on this like... shelf thing, it's so high I can reach the top of her vaulted ceiling when I'm up there. ~~Where Anakin used to get into the air conditioning ducts before Grandpa fixed that.~~ So I was lounging up there all blissfully snoozing, when she turns the ~~vacuum cleaner~~ Monster on. That thing is loud, so of course I woke up and I ran to my favored safe spot - on the ground. Mommy said that's dumb because it's not like the Monster ever goes up where I was. But jeez, how does she know? It might decide to one day!

She took some pictures of us with her new robot toy creature... the ones she took of me all make me look scared ~~or didn't come out very well~~. I'm not afraid of it! I just don't want to get all close to it like that bully Anakin does!

Mommy says it's only right that Anakin likes it the best. I don't know what she means by that.

~Gryff

It's my birthday!

2008-04-07T15:10:11Z

I'm 14 years old today. I look 10 years younger, though, really!

So... I think those two outdoor things are gay. They're both quite obviously males, but this morning I was looking out the front window and saw them on the walkway... one was on top of the other's behind, just like the boys used to do with me back in the day! (before Mommy removed my sex drive) How dumb is that? Don't they know that boys can't get pregnant? Someone should tell them.

~ Pantera