Hey, Mommy ~

I TOLD YOU SO!

Whatever they did to me in the gas chamber? It was a total waste of my time. There is NOTHING WRONG with me. DUH. Like I said all along!

Running the kingdom does get stressful at times, and it keeps me busy except for the 18 hours a day that I sleep. I just can't lay around getting fat like Mommy does, ya know? So anyone wanting to know my weight loss secret: all you have to do is become emperor of your own kingdom.

~ Anakin

Mommy dragged me to the torturers today. Never mind that it hasn't even been a year since I was last there. Never mind that I'm still acting normal, eating and drinking normally, using the potty normally. She thinks I'm getting too skinny, and she wants to know why.

You know what I think it is? I think she's jealous because she can't lose weight, and I lose it without even trying. I'm 13.25 pounds now.

I was horrible, as always, to everyone I came in contact with, starting with Mommy when she made me go in that box thing. I made her bleed! I'm proud of the bright orange CAUTION sticker that adorns my file. Anyway, I was so nasty to the torturers, they had to put me in a gas chamber. Mommy won't tell me what they did to me in there; I don't remember it. Doesn't this strike you as a bit cruel and unusual, though? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, WHY WAS I GASSED.

And then! On the way home, Mommy decides that since I'm being quiet, I won't mind if she takes a little detour and uses her "free breakfast" coupon at Chick-Fil-A. I let out a yowl as soon as she got to the drive-thru, just to let her know I WANT OUT OF THIS THING NOW.

On Monday we'll find out what's wrong. I don't know why we have to wait 'til then to find out I'm perfectly fine. Mommy's silly. And MEAN.

Hmph.

~ Anakin

Cassie's really purrrrrty.

Mommy needs to post pictures of her. Then you'll see.

~ Gryffin

It would seem that I now have 5 minions. The newest one is another Outdoor Creature, but she acts like one of US. She figured out how to get up on top of the kitchen cabinets, how to use the little door to go out to the Arizona room... Smart, very smart. I may have to put those smarts to good use. I'm pleased to say she does have a healthy fear of me.

Gryffin likes playing with her. If he develops a little crush, I will tease him mercilessly!

I know I shouldn't whine about my kingdom growing but it's exhausting keeping everyone in line, you know? Mommy keeps saying no more but then more always show up. Good thing most of those Outdoor Creatures don't want to come in here. I'm afraid of the big fluffy orange one. Ssshh, don't tell anyone.

Why does the newcomer get to jump up on counters and I don't? Mommy just says "no no no" in a stupid high voice and goes and picks her up. But if I go up there? I get yelled at! It's so unfair!

~ Anakin

Yesterday was my birthday. And you know what? That didn't even rate as a "random tidbit" in Mommy's LJ entry yesterday! She says staying home all day was her present to me. Hmph. Like I CARE if she's here or not? Okay so I do.

I'm 4 now. I still look good.

Mommy got a new catalog with all kinds of neat things in it for kitties, and she said she WANTED to get me birthday presents from it but... something about MONEY. What she needs this MONEY stuff for, I don't know. Everything she needs comes from the garage! I've been trying to figure out how that works. A little heat doesn't deter me -- I still wanna go out there and investigate that thing she calls a car and I whine like a baby until she opens the door for me.

Someday I'll figure it out.

~ Gryffin

This morning, Mommy got up to feed us, and went to open the front door to check for the outdoor creatures (they're not so bad, I've decided). Neither of them were there, but she squealed and started like...hopping. Something ran inside and over her feet when she opened the door!

When she saw it wasn't some "disgusting bug" (her sentiments, not mine! I like bugs) but a "cute little baby lizard" she calmed down. But I was already in Protector Mode, determined to remove the threat! I caught the thing pretty easily. So easily that I had to let it go a couple times so I could catch it again. Make it more interesting, you know? Only... well, the little guy ended up running under the stove. I can't even fit my paw under there!

Mommy distracted me by feeding us breakfast, but right after that I went back on my stakeout in front of the stove. He HAS to come out some time, right? I'll be ready!

~ Gryffin

Mommy's leaving us for the weekend. Hopefully Uncle Brian remembers to feed us.

You know what Mommy did yesterday? She LOCKED ME IN A BATHROOM CABINET FOREEEEVVVVVERRRRR. I don't know how long it was but it was right after we ate breakfast, and then she went wherever she goes during the daytime... and came back and STILL didn't let me out. What did I do to deserve such punishment?

I made as big of a mess as I could to show my displeasure. Though I did not "do my business" in there -- if I was gonna be hanging out in there for possibly days, I wanted it to be clean.

She finally came over and acted like she just then heard me scratching at the door trying to get out. And then she was all mushy and dopey, hugging me and begging for forgiveness. She claims it was an accident, that she thought my dorky brother was the only cat who had gone in there so she closed the door when he left. (They have these things on them that make them "baby proof" so I couldn't just push the doors open!) I don't know, she can be pretty mean sometimes... brushing us, even when we whine that it hurts when she gets to a knot... taking us to the torture chamber... picking us up and cuddling us against our will!

I might forgive her when she comes back. I'll have to mull that over. I'm pretty traumatized still. Never mind the fact that I just tried to go in there again when she had the door open this morning.

~ Snickers

Mommy was impressed enough with my mad climbing skillz that she took pictures instead of yelling at me. Hooray!

The first two are kinda dark -- Mommy's not too good at taking pictures.

( Behold, I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND )

Don't Snickers and Gryffin look jealous of me? After I'd had enough of being up there, I jumped down and went back inside. Gryffin craned his head and ran from side to side, trying to figure out how I'd jumped up there. Ha! He thought I jumped! He even made a running start at one point but stopped short of making the leap from the lower part to the high one. CLEARLY, I RULE.

Happy Mommy's Day...whatever that means. Mommy says we should have bought her gifts today. Ha! Why the hell should we do that? Does she ever buy US stuff? No! Besides, it's not fair that there's a "Mommy's Day" but there's no "Anakin's Day."

EVERY day should be Ani Day.

~ Anakin

So, there was this person here last night. A little person. I mean tiny. I could stand on my hind legs and be taller than it was. Err, as she was -- Mommy says it's not nice to refer to people as "it"s. Why do I have to be nice?

She's three years old, just like me!

It was kinda scary. She kept running around trying to give us stuff. If "running" is even the right word -- she's not very fast! I run way faster. And now, I'm all for giving us stuff, don't get me wrong! But when it's our own stuff? Meh. Seen it!

But - but!!! - Mommy gave her treats to give to us, and Little Person was VERY generous with those. Snickers and Anakin got more than I did, though, because I was still scared. I'm...not sure why it was so scary, ya know? It's not like I couldn't kick her ass in a fight prob'ly. Shut UP, Anakin. It's just so WEIRD, seeing someone pretty much our size who is not one of us.

Oh, and thanks to Mommy's big mouth, Little Person actually scolded me for the thing I used to do with the phone -- jeez, can't Mommy let that go??? It was ages ago! Grudge much?

Anyway, scary or not, Little Person was very interesting. All three of us followed her around everywhere. She kept creating new and interesting places for us to explore!

She didn't try to brush me, thankfully, but she did attempt to brush the meanie-pants Anakin. He was more tolerant of her brushing than of Mommy's, for some reason!

It's nice out today, I'm gonna go nap in the Arizona room. Toodles!

~ Gryffin

Mommy wondered who I would attach myself to since Pants doesn't live here anymore.

I'm telling you, it's slim pickin's now. I usually just hang out by myself, or close to Mommy. But I have my snuggly moments:

( Photographic evidence )

Mommy made Gryffin go up there for the picture; he wouldn't stay.

Wanna hear something freaky? Mommy was talking to Pants' ghost this morning. I think she's losing it. If anyone would have a spiritual connection to her, it would be me, her best friend of the same species! And I didn't hear a thing. Mommy swears she heard her meowing. And that there was a kitty trying to come in from the garage... it wasn't any of us because we were all in the same room, in plain sight.

It is nice and breezy today, and Mommy has the patio door open (to the screened-in room), so maybe the wind is playing tricks. I can't wait until she closes that door and doofball Gryffin doesn't notice, and goes crashing into the glass! He's done it before, and it's sooooo funny.

~ Snickers